Chester Williams
My Story
This April, I am running the London Marathon in memory of our little boy Archie, in aid of Sands.
On 11th October 2022, my wife Fliss who was 3 days overdue at the time, was rushed to hospital having suffered a placental abruption. Once in the labour ward, she received the worse news, that Archie’s heart had stopped beating and he had died.
I say Fliss and not we because I was not there. Losing your baby is the worst thing imaginable but to make matters more tragically complicated, at the time of Archie’s death I was in hospital having suffered a traumatic brain injury. On September 13th, I had a fall whilst riding (I was a professional jockey) which resulted in me being air lifted to Plymouth hospital and spending two weeks in intensive care. I was then moved to Barnstaple Hospital earlier than planned, so I could be present for Archie’s birth.
Every day that I was in hospital, Fliss in the late stages of her pregnancy, and Archie, were beside me, feeding me, talking to me and helping me get better. Fliss was so desperate for me to be there and be well enough to be present for Archie’s birth, my first child.
On the morning of 11th October, it was was explained to me that Archie had died the previous night. Thankfully I was present at Archie’s birth, although I can recall it only from what I have been told. The best way I can describe it is having the worst nightmare and never waking up. One of my earliest memories after the my injury was three days after Archie’s birth, realising that this was all real and that Archie was gone.
Grief journeys are complicated and everyone is different. Because I wasn’t there in the latter stages of Fliss’ pregnancy and not present the awful night he died, I struggled to process the information for a long time. The chance to spend time with and hold Archie was stolen from me as I was simply unable to cope at that time. At the most difficult juncture in Fliss’ life, I wasn’t able to be there in her time of need but she was always there for me.
This is where Sands comes in. Sands support anyone affected by the death of a baby, whether it be during pregnancy, during birth or shortly afterwards. They create communities where people can share their experiences, allowing people to feel less alone in their grief. Sands take part and fund important research to improve understanding of baby loss to help reduce loses and train healthcare professionals and organisations to give compassionate and respectful care at people’s most vulnerable times. Furthermore, they are involved in campaigning to raise awareness of pregnancy and baby loss, helping to influence policy so that fewer babies die, and bereaved families are better supported.
When I was not able to be there for Fliss, Sands were always present, providing the support and understanding community that she needed.
In January, our perfect little girl, Ada, was born. Seeing her grow every day makes me realise what we missed with Archie and I miss him now more than ever.
I want to run to make Ada and Fliss proud of me, but especially Archie. As I train, my connection with Archie grows and strengthens, giving me the uninterrupted time to think about him and how chaotic life with him and Ada would be!
By sharing my story of Archie with you, I’m hoping to raise awareness of baby loss more widely as it affects more people than we imagine. I know first hand how important it is for those suffering loss, for their little ones to be thought of, talked about and their names remembered.
I would be incredibly grateful if you could donate to this cause in memory of Archie and all the babies who didn’t come home.
